BubblePopElectrick
by sweetcherrylemonade
Summary: AU // Clubbin' til the night's over, sneaking out til we get caught, and mucho hunk-o boys that i can chew up with my eyes. World, get ready for the one and only Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino! College, here we come! // SASUSAKU / INOSHIKA //
1. Chapter 1

Kinda fast. I know. Sorry. keep up as much as you can, please? Really like this idea. :p

* * *

**Tonight I'm gonna give you all my love in the back seat,  
BUBBLE POP ELECTRIC  
BUBBLE POP ELECTRIC  
Gonna speed it down and slow it up in the back seat,  
BUBBLE POP ELECTRIC  
Uh-Oh, in the back seat**

_.Electric., Gwen Stefani _

_

* * *

  
_

"Let's go party tonight!" My oh, so-called best friend yelled in my precious, beautiful, normal pierced ear that was attached to the most perfect head in the world. Of course, her being a blond haired, blue-eyed beauty queen four straight years in a row in high school, who wouldn't listen to this girl? I mean, she was perfect all over. Her beach blond hair that was french braided all the way down her back and leaning casually on her shoulder, her yellow summer dress hugging her hourglass type of body, her perfect nose, mouth, eyes, hair, ears, knees, stomach, elbow, nose hair, pupil, _everything possible,_ screamed out 'I'm beautiful! Pay attention to me!'. Honestly, who wouldn't pay attention to her? She's a screaming, killing, beating machine that doesn't know how to shut the hell up.

Oh, wait a minute. I'm one of those people who can't ignore that mouth. That's right. Me. Her best friend since we were practically two. Yes, our mothers were best friends before that and were stuck together like glue, just like us. Apparently, my mother has some kind of gene for attracting loud, conceited, annoying, hypnotic, beauty queen winning, blond-haired women and passed that treacherous gene on to me because my best friend's like a leech on my skin-annoying and hard to get rid of.

"Ino, dear. Let me get this straight: We always had our annual clubbing night and drink until we're practically wasted, messed around with men who could never keep us, and now, we finally just moved in to our own place like, three minutes ago, decided to finally concentrate on our studies and not go clubbing anymore two minutes ago, and started putting our stuff away just a minute ago, and you want to go…clubbing?! Are you insane?! Scratch that, have you noticed how insane you truly are?! Because I have!" Yes, my insults are darker and deeper than that. I just said that because I was tired. When I'm pumped up, fear me because you'll be living in the darkness **forever**…

Ino Yamanaka-the she-devil's name-and I drove about three hours to finally arrive in our oh, so wondrous apartment that is a block away from the market that sells practically EVERYTHING. FEAR ME, MARKET! YOU WILL BE MOLESTED & RAPED BY ME TWENTYFOUR/SEVEN NOW THAT WE LIVE CLOSE TO YOU! BWAHAHAHA!

"Sakura, darling," oh, I could hear the sarcasm dripping from her precious-_evilevilevil_-mouth of hers, "we only have one week left before school starts and we haven't been to a party in ages! My lovely bones (by the way, great movie. Greater book!) are itching for some alcohol and my poor, beautiful pumps are stowed away in boxes, crying for me to wear them!"

"Pig, you went to a party last night (without me, may I add)." Oh, yes. QUEENBEE SAKURA: TWENTY MILLION! SLAVEDRIVE PIG: ZEROOO!

"I'll let you borrow my red shoes that match that oh, so sexy black dress you bought just a couple of days ago."

"Deal."

…

…

…

Welcome to my hellhole I call my life. Can I help it?! Those gorgeous shoes really know how to compliment my beautiful eyes and my lucious hair and my-

"Forehead, stop talking about body and replacing me with your name in your head!"

"BITCH! FEAR ME! FEAAAAR ME!"

* * *

"Mm…I'm hungry. Are you hungry? I'm hungry. There's a party in my tummy!" Che. Don't be jealous of my lovely song I made for my tumbbly I call 'mr. totobird'. He will eat you up, thank you very much.

"Sakura, shut up. You're freaky." My piggy is always jealous of-

"I'm not jealous of you. Stop telling yourself that in your little conversations you have with yourself."

"FEAR ME, YOU PIG! FEEEEEEEEAR ME!"

* * *

I finally realized something: I never introduced myself! Well, fine. I know who the hell I am and I always have these little conversations in my head to myself because…well, just because. ANYWAY, I'll introduce myself again because I am now a college student and will be the best damn student that will-in fact-rule this school.

My name is Haruno Sakura! Yes, yes. Keep in those cheers for later, my lovely darlings. I am a proud eighteen year old freshman in the most prestigious college, Konoha University. I have the most picturesque green eyes that shine like the star in the sky, and pink hair that beats your overused and overrated hair anytime, **anyday**. My body kicks your body's face and i'm sharing a two bedroom apartment with my dearest, darlingest (_but toesucking weiner_), Ino Yamanaka.

You see, Ino and I have been best friends since the very beginning, but we were never near each other since. She's lived in Kirigakure while I have lived in Sunagakure. We spent every single summer and school breaks together and we both got accepted to Konohagakure. I love her to death (though I will never, in my whole entire life, admit this to her no matter if I was dying).

"Oh, Sakura! Oh, woe is me! My dear best friend! In my will, I have decided to leave you my precious red dress that you love so much-"

"Wait, the all red one or the polka dot one?"

"Uh…polka dot?"

"Ew. I'm going to burn that crap."

"Okay! The all-red one. Jeez…"

"Score, baby."

"ANYWAY, red dress that you love so much, and my beautiful mirror that I never failed me and still hangs in my locker back at school-"

"Oh? I like that mirror, too. What's your locker number again?"

"Uh, I think four-fifty-two?"

"And locker code?"

"Two-twenty-two-fourteen. Not only that, I leave you my precious stack of nail polish-"

"Ew, not that yucky green one you love so much."

"-besides the yucky green one I love so much and my comfortable purple turtleneck I lost ages back and found a couple of days ago-"

"You bitch. That is the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life. Burn it or I'll rip your eyes out."

"-because I am dying! I am melting down and I will never see the next day again and you'll have to bury me somewhere far, far away in a meadow (no cows, you billboard brow. And I swear if it's with pigs, I'll make sure your life is a living hell) of flowers of all kind and that you buy me the biggest stone there that shows a really nice picture of me-maybe that one of when we were on the beach and we asked that guy to do it for us and I was making that model pose as my hair flew this way and that and-"

"YOU'RE SUCH A SLUT! DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT PICTURE?! I WILL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF MYSELF IF I EVER FIND THAT PICTURE! I LOOK LIKE A FAT TURTLE WITH A DOUBLE CHIN & NO NECK!"

"-and, oh honey. That wasn't a bad picture, that's how you always look. BEWARE OF FLYING OBJECTS! FLYING OBJEEECTS! WAAAAUGH! SAKURA, YOU WHORE!...i'm sorry. Forgiven? Forgiven! Anyway, I'm dying! This beauty queen will finally go up there where I will become the most beautiful thing on this planet and my beauty will live forever and-"

"Pig, I'm going to the market to buy us food. Shut up and fix your damn room."

"Oh, MY HERO! SAKURA, YOU BRAVE FIEND! YOU'RE RESCUING THE FAIR MAIDEN FROM HER DOOMED FUTURE TO MAKE SURE HER LIFE IS GRACIOUS AND WONDERFUL AND-"

"I better find that red dress in my closet when I come back."

"…how about I give you a five dollar bill so you can buy yourself some chocolate ice cream?"

"Deal…but I still want that mirror."

"You whore. I threw that shit away years ago."

"Uh-huh. That's why it's hanging right on your bedroom door right this second?"

"I WILL CASTRATE YOUR BODY WHEN YOU RETURN! BELIEVE IT!"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer?-Yeah. You know.

AN-i have no clue about college. bite me. i bet i made a lot of mistakes. suck my toe. im sick and tired and cranky and...and...enjoy the friggin' story. (:

* * *

So, I've heard that in college, all anyone ever does is party and make-out and party some more and make out and cute boys and make out and cute boys and cute boys and cute _college_ boys and **cute **_college_ boys and-

You get my point, don't you? Well, it's not what I ever expected (NO, I AM NOT WRONG! I AM ALWAYS RIGHT BECAUSE I AM THE ONE AND ONLY BEAUTIFUL, HONEST, WONDROUS, ADMIRING, AMAZING, DOWNRIGHT _GANGSTER_ HARUNO SAKURA).

"Sakura! Sakura! Code blue-green-yellow-red-four! Turn at the right arm down ninety degrees and mildly wink your eye in less than a millisecond or face your doom!" Ino-pig whispers discreetly into my luscious ear. Of course, I turn my head sideways and give a small wink to that hunkalicious boy that's has his delicious eyes pointing towards me and now is walking over to me and we might have hot, smexy sex in the closet of our bedroom and make out and-

"Hey, there. I'm Jeff and I'm the new nurse of the school. I couldn't help but notice that there's something wrong with your eye."

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

**KILL ME NOW, PLEASE.**

* * *

"..and, and he was so cute!" I was globbing (yes, globbing is a word) all over the toilet in our apartment as Ino sat next to me, reading her _Vogue_ magazine with her monstrous-_supersupersupercute _-sausage fingers and giving her usual 'mm-hmm', 'oh, really?', and 'how do you feel about that?' responses like she was my freakin' therapist or something. Stupid good-for-nothing pigs.

"Oh, Ino! And then he said there was something wrong with my eye! MY EYE! MY BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, **EXOTIC** EYEBALL THAT SCREAMS OUT 'UNIQUE' AND 'DROP-DEAD AHHH-MAZING' AND HE JUST—" I turn my head to sob in her new dress she bought minutes ago and she pushes my head away like a friggin' plague.

"No, Sakura. No tears on the new dress. Sorry, hon. But this dress cost way more than our friendship." OH, REALLY?! YOU LITTLE—

"**BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!**"

I would like to point out that Ino is, indeed, my best friend in the whooooole wide world and she means the world to me and that I would give up everything for her and that we are stuck together like peanut butter and bananas and, oh that bitch is going to die in five days. Because she still did NOT give me her damn dress AND she wrote all over the precious mirror she gave me with a pink permanent marker saying 'NO SAKURA. YOU ARE NOT PREEEETHY!'

Bitch.

Although she did buy me that cute pair of leather stilettos that goes great with my new green dress I bought for tonight's club, and those really expensive earrings that I wanted for, like, ever and… and…okay, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

"Oh, hon. It's okay. You want a hug, you snot-nosed, hideous beast? I love you just the way you are, darling. Defected eye and all." I mean, she was petting my head as I cried my tears over the beautiful white toilet that means the world to me because it suffers everyday with the pig's huge butt castrating its own sanity (yes, the toilet has some deep, dark feelings) down the drain.

Get it? Drain? Toilet? Bathroom? Shower? Ino? BWAHAHAHA! But having my best friend by my side as I cried my eyes out really soothes me to the fullest. Like, really.

"Now, you get up and stop your crying because we're going to party your tears away and you'll find someone as hideous as you and fall in love and, I'll go pick out your clothes now, okay Hun?" She walks out and I'm so thankful to have a wonderful friend like that with her kindness and amazing-ness and, wait a minute…

"INOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Heh. I am Sakura! Hear me RAWR!

* * *

_Ooh, baby,  
I be stuck to you like glue, baby  
Wanna spend it all on you, baby  
My room is the G-spot  
Call me Mr. Flinstone  
I can make your Bed Rock_

-**Bedrock, Lil'Wayne**

**

* * *

  
**

"Like, ZOMG! Sakura! Sakura! SAKURA! SAAAAAAAAAKUUUUUURRAAAAAAA!" that blasted pig's mouth will someday be the death of me (hehehehehe. I stole Edward's line! BWAHAHAH!).

"Yes, my dear, darling, wonderful Ino?" I call out to her and give her the most sweetest and innocent smile my-evilevilevil-cute mouth could muster up. Ino's big, blue, (and beautiful) eyes look at me with her blond eyebrow arched up in a perfect, ninety degree angle that shines from the stars in the skies and brings forth the Gods from Hell to cower in her mercy and question's my super sweet antics.

"I'm giving it five seconds before you come and attack me…" Ino drawled out, giving that melodramatic voice before actually running out of the apartment, screaming like a banshee, to her doom and her embarrassment, and then she's going to run back in here, crying like crazy and asking me to do something so embarrassing so she can redeem herself because I am her best friend and the definition of the nicest, kindest, sweetest, considerate—

NO! I AM HARUNO SAKURA! I DO NOT DO SUCH THINGS! SHE IS THE EMBARRASSMENT AND I AM THE MOST AWESOMEST PERSON ALIVE! INO YAMANAKA MUST. **GO. DOOOOWN!**

"RAAAAAAWR!"

**BANG! BOOM! CRASH! YAHOO!**

"!"

"Yes, pig?"

"…Why did you just break that vase?"

_blinkblink_.

"Why, piggy, what vase?"

"That super expensive vase I bought from that new store down the streets and--"

"ZOMG! PIGGY! LOOK ON TV! THERE'S A GIRL WEARING A WHITE HEADBAND WITH A VERY UGLY FLOWER ON IT! ZOMG! ZOMG! ZOMG!"

"(le-gasp!) WHERE?! WHERE?! SAKURA, WHERE IS SHE?! …Sakura? …**HARUNO**! **YOU STOLE MY DRESS**!"

how she knows these things when she's not even in the same room, I have no clue.

* * *

"Hi. I'm Ino Yamanaka and I was asked to call my counselor. Is this he? Yes, I'm applying for the Intro to Dramatic Theatre class. Are there any spots open?" Yes, my piggy is all grown up now and applying for her classes all by herself. Sniff Sniff. She makes me so proud how she can get the phone, dial a number, and speak so sweetly _all by herself_! HOW PROUD I AM OF HER!

"Hello, yes. I am Haruno Sakura and I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. Are there any positions open?"

"Yes, I am a freshman. I live in an apartment near the school with another colleague of mine."

"No, I don't have aids. Do you?"

"Yes. My classes are set for the morning. This semester I'm only going for six classes."

"I have no job experience ever. Unless you count bathing stinky old people four hours a day and watching annoying little brats on the weekends job experience. Although, I never actually got paid. I just got '_i owe you_'s. Does that count?"

"Um, I'm planning to take also Calculus, English Honors, and Physics Honors on Mondays and Thursdays, but I plan to also take Intro to Theatre Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Um…sex? I think I'm a virgin. I'm not sure. I like to party a lot during the weekends and wake up without a clue what happened that night so I'm not entirely—oh! You mean, gender?! Well, you should have said that! Jeez!"

"Yes, I already have a job. I'm working at my parents' old flower shop just a few blocks away. I plan to work Monday to Thursday during the afternoons, if possible."

"Age? I'm nineteen! Yup! …What am I wearing right now? Uh, clothes? I mean, what else can I wear? I'm not one of those cavemen that wear only a leaf of some kind of animal skin to block their _parts_ that seems really small since leaves are really small and—are you a pervert?! No, oh. Okay, just checking. …my underwear color?!"

"Training? But…isn't it intro? …oh?! Really?! You're recommending me to Intermediate Dramatic Theatre?! …Yes! I would love that so much! Oh, thank you very much! Thank you! Okay! Bye!"

"Training?! Who the HECK needs training for Mickey D's?! I mean, all you do is flip burgers, yell at customers, and give people food saying 'Would you like fries with that?'. I mean, come on! Are you guys stupid?! …hello? Heeeelloooo?! Heeeeeeellooooooo?! EEEEECHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DAMN YOU!"

"So, Sakura…"

"So, Ino…"

"Did you get into Mickey D's?"

"Did you get into Intro?!"

"YES I DID!"

"Nope. They said I'm too good for them so they decided to let me not join their boring, old place so I can apply for something more wondrous that will show off the most amazing, beautiful, incredible HARUNO SAKURA—"

"Sakura…this isn't McDonald's number…"

"Oh? Then who's number is it…?"

* * *

_MEANWHILE…next door to Sakura's & Ino's apartment_…

"**BWAHAHAHAHAHA! TEME! TEME! **SOME RANDOM ASS GIRL CALLED, THINKING I WAS MCDONALD'S AND I SO GOT HER! BWAHAHAHAHAH! IT WAS THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER! I WISH I COULD HAVE RECORDED IT! THAT'S SO FUNNY! I'M GOING TO POST THIS ON FACEBOOK, LIVEJOURNAL, YOUTUBE, MYSPACE, TWITTER, TUMBLR, FORMSPRING, BLOGGER—"

"Hn. Dobe, shut up."

* * *

"INO! SAKURA IS HUNGAAARY!" my tummy grumbled with anger as I felt those little, tiny monsters punching my gut and demanding for food. Soon, little babies, very soon.

"So? Then get some food yourself!" Ino yelled back, making sure she has the perfect outfit for tonight's party time. Of course, whatever she picked out, she'll then give a small huff with happiness and then walk to the bathroom to shower and I'm going to steal it and wear it for tonight and she'll come out and have to pick an outfit all over again! BWAHAHAHAH! THEN I WIN ONCE AGAIN! **I WIN**!!!

"BUT INOOOO…"

"There's a McDonald's across the street. Go get some food."

"…you have literally destroyed my feelings forever. FOREVER, PIG. I'm going straight to my room and wallow—"

"Darling, I'm going out to buy us some food. Is there anything you request?"

"I WANT MY HAPPY KIDS MEAL! HAAAAPPY KIIIIIIIDS MEEEEEEEAAAL!"

"Okay, sweetheart. Mommy will be back soon, okay? Don't open the door for any strangers and don't answer the phone unless you see mommy's name. Bye, love!" Ino gets up and grabs her purse (which is actually mine and borrowed four years ago and **never** returned…but I won't mention it now because she is buying my happy meal! Yay, Yamanaka!) and walks out the door with a slam. I give that evil, evil, eevil look and cackle a laugh as I sneak into her room. She has wrapped her outfit up in one of those body bags (she probably used to kill people during the night. I'm probably next…but she'll never take me alive! I AM HARUNO SAKURA! THE ONE AND ONLY AMAZINGEST NINJAAA!) and snag it up into my room to try on. Literally throwing it onto my body, it feels downright amazing! I don't need a mirror to know I look so good in her dress.

Then, someone knocked on the door.

"_Cooooooooooming_!" I float to the door, making sure I look good (even though I've never even looked into a mirror at all yet) and once I reach the door, I open it and gape. Seriously, gape. No, not Gabe Bondoc (he's on my list of men to **snag and rape** whenever I can). I have no words. No words at all…

"Sakura-chan?!"

"N-Naruto…?!"

"Hn."

"SASUKE?!"

"Sakura-chan, you're our neighbor?!"

And then I knew I was doomed for the rest of my life.

**RECAPRECAPRECAP**!

Sooo, Naruto and Sasuke were THE guys back in high school. There were part of the popular crowd that had every single girl at their tails and begging for their love. Naruto, of course, took advantage of this and went out with every girl possible, making him oblivious to the one who has a crush on him since kindergarten, Hinata Hyuuga.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was the total opposite of Naruto. Sasuke was cold, arrogant, egotistical, angry, and hated every single person that had a double X gene in their body instead of the XY gene. It always made me wonder if he was gay…

Anyway, Sasuke was (praying he still isn't) the love of my life. Yes, he barely paid attention to women, but he paid attention to me. ME! Who doesn't pay attention to me, however? Although, he still treated me like crap, but I was the only one he would go within a five-mile radius that was a _girl_. I mean, of course he's the living, breathing, walking Adonis, but his looks aren't the only thing that made me fall for a guy like him. He actually listens to me when I'm talking smart and wouldn't mind taking a nice, **silent** walk in the park whenever I want to and he always gives me that look whenever he wants to go somewhere, as if inviting me along.

He treated me like crap, yeah. He always put me down and told me how annoying I was and always said no when I asked him out to dates and was always madmadmad and…and…I couldn't take it anymore! I could never take him or his pushy-away-y messages! Time to go cry in a corner! WAAAUGH!

"Sakura, why are you in a chicken suit?" Sasuke asked, looking down at me. And that's when I finally looked into that gigantic mirror on the side of the front door (so Ino can see how she looks right before she leaves) and I was, in fact, in. a. chicken. suit.

**EFF. MY. LIFE.**

**

* * *

_--jjayanddjjae _**


End file.
